Here we go! Valentines Day is once again here and approaching! So, you know I had to write about it.
I heard a joke once that Valentines Day is a Christian guys' worst nightmare. Really? Hmmm so therefore, I decided to write about what "I look for in a young lady"...Or am I?
Honestly, now that God has been revealing certain aspects to me I have a slight issue with the questions: "What do I look for" or "Is she the one for me." I will explain why.
These questions can almost put the decision making process on our own terms, instead of God's. Consider the following quote from author Michael Lawrence in his article entitled, Stop Test Driving Your Girlfriend. He says that, "it puts the woman on an extended trial to determine whether or nmeets your needs, fits with your personality, and satisfies your desires. It places you at the center of the process, in the role of a window-shopper, or consumer at a buffet."
I know I have fell victim to this very thing, but perhaps here is a better question we guys need to ask ourselves. "Am I the type of godly man a young lady would want to be with?" In other words, maybe we should spend less time evaluating the character of women around us, and more time evaluating and critiquing our own character, not just for a young women but ultimately so our character will be pleasing in God's sight.
Here is the point to all of this. Certainly we are supposed to have standards and some young ladies just won't meet our standards, but do not have an unrealistic expectation. Do not fall into the "Proverbs 31 syndrome", where she has to meet ALL those requirements and characteristics written in that chapter. Importantly, DO NOT put an expectation that is even higher than God's. Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God." God's standard of glory is set so high that it would be impossible to reach it, that is why He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ (John 3:16).
"The problem of course is that as a single Christian man, not only are you going to marry [date] a sinner, but you are a sinner as well."--Michael Lawrence.
Let God be the number one standard and pray for wisdom (James 1:5).
Picture from:
http://abww.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/blacklove.jpg
Right on point!
ReplyDeleteWe make extremely poor gods of our lives. Idolatry takes many forms. Opinion worship is so easy in a world becoming more and more post-modern. The essence of worship is agreement with GOD, HIS Word and HIS decisions. Our being conformed into the image of HIS SON prepares us to be husband ready to love wives like CHRIST loves the church...
Brother Jeremy A. Maynard
Cedric, I really enjoyed this blog post. As a woman who follows Jesus, I echo your sentiments and well-stated thoughts. I also would add nor should WE ladies have the 'window shopping' mentality either, where the guys have to meet certain standards and fit certain boxes in OUR minds. I approach relationships with an openess to what God's plans are. He omniscent, so wise, and knows me so well to also know the type of man I need, (not just want). Ultimately, relationships like everything else in the believer's life has to come down to faith in believing for God's best, obedience in waiting in God's timing, and surrender to God's plan for one's life. Life can never be lived on our terms if we truly say we're Christ-followers. Our actions and heart-motivations must show it by submitting to God and following His wisdom in, yes, this area of relationships too. Thank you again for sharing this.
ReplyDelete~ m
writing to be real...
http://writingtobereal.blogspot.com/
"words are a gift. give them well." - m.copenny
Thank you both for the wonderful feedback! It is much appreciated. God bless!
ReplyDelete--Cedric D. Hoard