Break Free: The Challenge!

2014 is only a few days young and I don't want to be a victim of insanity- doing the same things and expecting different results- this year will be different! 

Below is an outline/challenge I composed for myself and for some of my close brothers. Obviously certain things may not apply to all, but my hope and prayer is that it will serve as an example for others as they continue to seek God in their own personal lives. Christian men are under attack daily; it's time to be real and authentic.

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(1 Corinthians 16:13) - Be on your guard stand firm in the faith be men of courage be strong

Authority + Leadership = Integrity

Authority- Ability to make decisions based on what’s right, not based on the influence of other people.

Leadership- Pulling out of people what has been impressed upon them.

                --Timotheus Pope, Men’s Time, Impact Break Free 2013.

Integrity- Derived from the Latin root- integer meaning WHOLE- A person who is whole is undivided. A man of integrity is the same man in public as he is in private.

“Integrity Trumps Hypocrisy and Complacency”

Authority in Action (Daniel Chapter 1)

1)      Decision (vs. 8-10)

2)      Challenge/Accountability (vs. 11-14)

3)      Results (vs. 15)

4)      Influence/Impact (vs. 16)

5)      Spiritual Growth/God’s Blessing (vs. 17)

Leadership in Action (Paul’s Leadership to Timothy- 2 Timothy Ch. 2 [Whole Book])

Runs from Iniquity:

(2 Tim. 2:19)

Fights for Purity:

(2 Tim. 2:20-22).

Reject Passivity (Numbers 13)

1)      Remove my “BUT” from the analysis (vs. 27-28).

2)      Regain a proper image of myself (vs. 33)

3)      Remember what God has said (vs. 1-2).

--Pastor Brian Edmonds, 12/30/13, Impact Break Free 2013

(vs. 30-32)- Despite what others were saying, Caleb rejected passivity and fear by ultimately trusting God.

Purity

Ø  Job 31:1-4; 9-12 (Lust)

Ø  Psalm 119:37 (Porn)

Turn my eyes from worthless things,

and give me life through your word.

Ø  1 Corinthians 6:12 (Porn)

You say, "I am allowed to do anything"- but not everything is good for you. And even though "I am allowed to do anything," I must not become a slave to anything.

Ø  1 Corinthians 6:18

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Ø  1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

Respect for Women

1 Tim. 5:2-

“Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.”

Guarding my heart/not moving ahead of God in regards to relationships

“I want my heart so protected by God, that I don’t have to wonder or worry whether it is guarded or not.”

Proverbs 4:23- Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.

Philippians 4:6-7- Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Accountability

James 5:16- Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and wonderful results.

Proverbs 27:17- As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Truly “Breaking Free” in 2014

“Jesus as God’s general contractor, is looking at our lives…There are some things deeply and fundamentally wrong with us. But fortunately, He has not come to bring mere aesthetic changes, but systemic restoration.”

-Pastor Eric Mason, Manhood Restored, 42.

We must not seek to change surface level issues by what type of job we have, the leadership positions we have, or popularity that we receive. We must not let accomplishments hinder us from confronting the deeper issues within us. WE must be willing to take a look at the deeper level issues on our lives. For example, porn addiction was the surface level issue for me, but wanting acceptance and finding my identity was the real deep level issue. Once I became aware of the deeper level (acceptance), the surface level (porn, addiction) diminished.

Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me, and know my thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

6 Month Challenge!

1)      Read at least 3 books

Example:

Manhood Restored, Eric Mason (Currently Reading)

Kingdom Man, Tony Evans

Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle, Michael John Cusick (Great Book!!)

Boundaries in Dating, Henry Cloud and John Townsend

No More Excuses, Tony Evans

Relationships: A Mess Worth Making, Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp

Explicit Gospel, Matt Chandler

Desiring God, John Piper

**The books should complement your time in the WORD, not substitute it!

2)      Ask the Lord what things may be hindering you from seeking Him to your fullest; ask for the grace to refrain from those things while you are seeking Him more.

My example: Staying away from dating or relationships. Work toward strengthening friendships rather than pursuing relationships. Working toward getting out of comfort zones, rather than finding comfort in relationships.

Other examples:

Staying away from Entertainment that isn’t edifying

Staying away from certain friends

Staying away from certain environments 

3)      Meeting Regularly for Prayer, Discussion, Etc! 

Impact13 Break Free!

This past Impact Movement National Conference (http://impactmovement.org/) was my 4th conference in 6 years. I believe each conference provided a different and unique experience, but this year was BY FAR my favorite Impact conference.

In the next following days/weeks I plan on going more in depth about specific aspects I learned at the conference in a series entitled, "Break Free" based on the conference theme. However, here are some brief highlights from this year's conference.

God truly answered a prayer. Since my freshman year of college, it has been my goal and prayer to bring students from my university to the conference. By God's grace, 8 students including myself were able to attend! God provided us with the funds to fully financially support one student and pay for one student's transportation fee!! God is GOOD!

This year's conference was also different in past years' because of my involvement with the conference. I was tremendously blessed in many areas to serve at this conference including writing a monologue for the national campaign promo video, a college representative of the Google Hangout sessions, shared my testimony in the main session called the Freedom Seat, and was one of the Outreach trainers/facilitators. I was truly honored and humbled to serve in those areas; however, it truly pulled me out of my comfort zones in several ways.

Here is one of the many convicting phrases I heard from the conference this year:

"We seek answers, but don't seek Jesus. Jesus will not come second to our answers"
 --Timotheus Pope, Men's Time.
 
We can get so accustomed to asking God for a sign or a specific answer; however, if we just seek Jesus and Jesus alone, our answer will ultimately be revealed. Often times we are waiting for a sign that fits what WE want, opposed to the standard Christ has set.

This is a very brief overview, but stay tuned with me as I start this series. 

 

above picture from http://impactmovement.org/

below picture taken by http://facebook.com/regina.a.lowery

God's Timing Part 1: A Look into the Life of Joseph

"Don't ask God for blessings that you 

may not be ready for..."

These words have echoed in my mind like a broken record lately. Lately I have found myself repeating these words, because trying to stay in my lane and not move ahead of God's timing on certain things has been a struggle. My college graduation is soon approaching and I am anticipating what will happen post-graduation. Where will I be? What will I be doing? etc.

For the past four years I have clearly seen how God has "networked" for me; opportunities and blessings have come when I simply have stayed "still." Yes, by God's grace I am sure I played a small role in those blessings, but ultimately it was God. I can't dispute or argue against that. I always say that God networking is 10 times more effective than the networking we could do; however we can't automatically assume that God has "got us," while we throw our faithfulness, commitment, and reverence for Him out the window. 

The story of Joseph has always been one of my favorite stories in the Bible. In Genesis 37:5, Joseph has his first dream revealing that he would one day reign or rule over many, including his family. This is a lofty dream for a 17 year old boy at the time, especially a boy who tended over his father's flock, and not to mention his family would be considered as foreigners. To no surprise, his dream came along with doubt (from his father) and anger (from his brothers). 

Later in Chapter 37, Joseph brothers plotted to sell him in slavery to Egypt, and convince their father that Joseph had been killed by an animal. In chapter 39 Joseph, was purchased by Potiphar, captain of the guard to Pharaoh (also known as, the king of Egypt). Genesis 39:2 says, "The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded in everything he did as he served in the home of his Egyptian master." It was so obvious that God was with Joseph that even Potiphar himself realized it, and soon made Joseph his personal attendant. As a result, the Bible says that the Lord began to bless Potiphar's household for Joseph's sake.

However, there is more drama to the story. Potiphar's wife began to look lustfully at Joseph and demands him to sleep with her. Ultimately Potiphar's wife failed to seduce Joseph, who resisted her temptation by saying it would be a sin against God. Notice he didn't say that it would be a sin against Potiphar, himself, or Potiphar's wife, ultimately it would be a sin against God. Instead of Joseph's integrity convicting Potiphar's wife it only angered her and she falsely accused Joseph of attempting to rape her. As a result Joseph was wrongly thrown into prison, BUT Genesis 39:21 says, "But the LORD was with Joseph in the prison and showed him his faithful love." God was ultimately in control. 

If we proceed to Genesis chapter 40 Joseph meets two prisoners in prison and interprets dreams that both prisoners had. Essentially, Joseph was able to interpret the dreams and in vs. 14 asked one of the prisoners that when he get's his old job back to mention his name to Pharaoh, so he might let Joseph out of prison. However, in verse 23, we see that the ex-prisoner. forgot all about Joseph, never giving him a thought.

It wasn't until TWO YEARS when Joseph was recognized for his skill of interpreting dreams. It wasn't recognized until Pharaoh himself needed his dream interpreted. Joseph's skill wasn't recognized until God said it was time to be recognized. 

The story continues, but there is an amazing example of God's timing and sovereignty. When Joseph was a teenage his dream was revealed to him. God revealed that dream to Joseph; it wasn't a coincidence. It's interesting how the dream was shown to him, but God never revealed the timing for when the dream was going to take place. Throughout Joseph's life God was continually with him, even in lower job descriptions and low circumstances, Joseph was able to flourish by the grace of God.

One thing I find amazing through this story is that Joseph's skill of interpreting dreams had to be first used for prisoners in prison before it could be used for a king in his kingdom. Ultimately his skill further gave credibility to his dream. Joseph eventually became a ruler over many and finally reconciled with his brothers, but I can't help to believe that God was preparing Joseph for his dream. I am pretty sure Joseph matured over the years or gained insight over the years that would allow him to be effective as a ruler.

So why is this story relevant? There may be some people who are just ready to graduate right now and dive into careers. There may be some people who have held on for a dream for a very long time and just are not sure when it will happen. There may be some of us that has an amazing talent or skill that hasn't been recognized yet. Remember that God's timing is different from our timing. Honor Him, and watch Him make your dreams become a reality.

"You can make plans,but the Lord's purpose will prevail."-- Proverbs 19:21

Christian Dating Blogs

Christian dating seems to get more and more popular. It seems as if so many young believers are seeking and wondering how they can attract that godly man or woman. Popular Christian dating blogs have also been on the rise allowing many individuals to finally seek and ask the questions they have been desperately wanting to know. Although I believe these blogs have the best intentions in mind, I am beginning to worry that people are heavily relying on these blogs rather than....God.

I think Colossians 2:20-23 sums it up beautifully,

20 Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: 21 “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”?22 These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. 23 Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

Paul is basically warning us that making rules and forcing ourselves to stay away from certain practices would never formulate the maturity necessary to be successful in our spiritual lives. Which brings me to my next point.

Christian Dating blogs seem to be popular lately, but be careful. Just because certain aspects worked for one couple doesn't mean it is your personal conviction as well. Let God be the standard not someone's relationship. Don't be so focused on your relationship looking like a good "image" that you start implementing things when God has not even directed or convicted you on those things! 

Boundaries are extremely important in a relationship, especially physical limits, but I know many young couples who are refusing to hug, hold hands, kiss, etc. until they are married, because of something they read on a blog. But what happens when/if they do hold hands, or hug, or kiss? Does that mean they are not strong enough? Does that mean they are not "good" Christians? Or could it simply mean that God didn't convict them about making their decision? 

Please don't get it twisted, I'm not "condemning" Christian dating blogs. I am just stating some things I have noticed with some of my fellow brothers and sisters.

A good friend of mine once said that, "we have to remember that we are seeking love from falling people in a fallen world." I couldn't agree anymore. So instead of continuously focusing on a list of do's and don'ts are we able to truly accept the other person for who they are, flaws and all.

The purpose of this post is NOT to attack these blogs, I think many of them truly put Christ at the forefront of relationships. I am just simply encouraging young believers to not get so consumed with these blogs that we ultimately forget God. Learning to grow in love, developing self-control, asking for wisdom, being led by the Holy Spirit is essentially what we should be striving for. 

The Motto!

"Always have the mindset that you would rather have 1 person apply what you say rather than 1 million applause what you say. I want to be effective not just entertaining. This is service to God more than just performance for man. At the end of the day...

This is ministry, minus me!"

Why You Shouldn't Date Everyone You Meet

There is approximately  7 million people in the world today. Many of which who will possess many qualities we share and find attractive. It is nearly inevitable that we will meet many people who interest us. However, we can't date or marry everyone who we find attractive, unless we are Solomon (he had 700 wives lol). My point is that even though we may come across many people we like or find attractive, it doesn't necessarily mean they are the right person to pursue a relationship with.

Many followers of Christ who are considering dating have heard the scripture "do not be unequally yolked" (2 Corinthians 6:14). It is a fairly popular verse and is referenced many times in regards to dating. Although it is referenced and preached a lot, sometimes many Christians overlook it. Why? Because of this dangerous thing called, feelings. Feelings can allow us to make many temporary decisions that can result in many long term consequences. That is why it is vitally imperative that we pray for wisdom and discernment and actively take heed from the Holy Spirit. He will guide us to help us distinguish our feelings from His promptings.

Through my past experiences, I have seen firsthand how my feelings have allowed me to make premature decisions in regards to pursuing a relationship with someone. A very vivid example stems from a young lady pretending to want to know more about God, only as a means to get close to me. It only resulted in disappointment as I realized that we were definitely going in different directions. From my past experiences it is my prayer and hope that I encourage someone with this post.

Believe it or not, godly characteristics in a person are attractive to individuals who aren't even looking for God. As the saying goes, "Some people want a godly man/woman, but don't want God."

The problem is that those who have this mindset never draw near to God, but only end up drawing near to you. You unfortunately become their substitute for God. As a result this adds pressure on you because as soon as you make a mistake, they associate your mistakes as a characteristic and quality of God. So you then feel as if your every move and action has to "perfect" in order for them to "see" God. This is unfair to you and to the other person involved; it is unhealthy. We can't base our knowledge of God, based of the errors of other people. In essence people may always fail us, but God will never fail us. It hurts my heart that so many people are so opposed to the things of God, because a Christian made a mistake and hurt them (mistakes are inevitable). This may occur possibly, because the person never had a true, personal relationship with God. As a result, they are not able to identify God's perfect presence from human's needing grace for their errors. This brings me to my next point.

Some individuals may be placed in your life for you to witness to them, not necessarily date them. A young lady may need to see an example of a trustworthy man, a young man may need to know how true acceptance feels from a woman. This is possible to display without dating them. Ultimately if people are broken and "dead" in their spiritual life they need to see the true reason behind your caring qualities. Essentially it means they need to see Christ!

World Wide Web

Its been about 2 and a half weeks since I released "World Wide Web," a spoken word video highlighting my struggle, but ultimately my freedom from pornography addiction. This video was made possible by The Good Fight Studios located in Waterford, Wisconsin.

Two years ago I wrote a blog post in regards to the deadly addiction (http://cedricdhoard.blogspot.com/2011/03/lust-p-word.html), but this poem was truly two years in the making.

"World Wide Web" purposely conveys two meanings. Not only is the title reflective of what the internet is most popularly referred to, but it is also a play on words conveying how the enemy uses a "web" to trap his "prey" worldwide. 

Below is a few lines of the poem:

"Consider when a spider weaves its web; it is made out of silk one of the most valuable fabrics in the world representing status and power, but the true purpose of this web is to entrap prey so that they can be devoured. So in other words, what appears to captivate, can actually hold you captive. It’s funny how something seemingly attractive, can actually make you inactive." 

This poem was ultimately inspired by a book I read this past summer, entitled, "Surfing For God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle" by Michael John Cusick. The book influenced the writing process for the poem to focus on three areas that porn can affect: 1) Emotional 2) Physical and 3) Spiritual. I think the book did a great job of discussing all three areas. Through the book I was also able to understand and realize that we can't "train our flesh" to overcome addiction.
Will power or "training" our flesh to overcome sin is not the way to do it. For how can we train something to do right when it is naturally at war with the Holy Spirit? There are numerous occasions in the Bible that address how our flesh goes against the purpose of the Spirit (Romans 8:5-8; Galatians 5:16-17). True heart conviction and recognition of Christ's forgiving grace is necessary. We can't hopelessly fight battles with will power that could eventually be won by surrendering to God and following the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Recently  I was contacted by the author in regards to my poem. In short, he shared my poem at a Conference in Colorado Springs, Colorado as a way to impact and inspire other men. God has also used the poem in other mighty ways. I am so thankful to be a small part of His bigger plan.

I am extremely passionate about this subject and my prayer is that this video will further shed light on an issue  I know is still alive and active. People wonder if I am ever embarrassed by being transparent about this issue, but I feel as if God is using my transparency to reach those who may be struggling with this issue. I also do not feel embarrassed, because I am a product of God' grace and redemptive power. There is freedom from addiction through Christ! He offers a way of escape from this "World Wide Web." 

"Way of Purity" picture from:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/static/uploads/courses/header_images/way-of-purity.gif