Right vs. Easy

More than the tension between doing what is right vs. wrong. I find the tension more between doing what is right vs. what is "easy."

Sometimes the right choice is not always easy, but it is necessary. There has to come that point when decisions must be made to further grow in your relationship with God. Are these decisions easy? In some cases, of course not! However, they will save us from more heartache and pain opposed to if we didn't make the correct decision.

Pray over your "feelings," and truly give your thoughts to God (2 Cor. 10:5; Phil. 4:8). Our feelings can influence us in making those "easy" decisions instead of the right decisions. (Guard your HEART!!).

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Why am I saying this, because if I claim that I am striving to be the man God has purposed me to be, then I have to make those tough decisions.

Even if my feelings don't "feel good," How hard am I willing to drop to my knees and ask God what it is that HE want?? No one said that life was going to be "easy," but Christ did say that He will give us a satisfying life (John 10:10).

What are we going to do, Do what is EASY or do what is RIGHT?!

"Every Christian is a Continuing Education Program."

The above title was part of a phrase I read today of a footnote found in my Bible. The footnote was addressing Colossians 3:10.

I find it so very true and very important to understand and remember. The more we learn to know Christ, His work, and His character; the more we are being transformed to think like Him. Many Christians will agree with me I am sure, but we must remember that this is a lifelong PROCESS, never an instant aspect. 

"Growth is a journey, never a destination." Think about it. Even though we are followers of God, we can never be like God. We need Him to function, so "falling" is just part of the process. If we never made mistakes, never had shortcomings, and downfalls, how could we ever learn from them? 

Let's compare it to that of a baby. When a baby first begins to walk, we don't expect the baby to just begin leaping. No, the baby first starts with a process of walking. Yes, the baby may fall a few times, however; he/she gets back up again, and continues the process.

Proverbs 24: 16 says,  "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked." Notice that the rigtheous and wicked BOTH fell, but what set them apart was that the righteous GOT UP. 


"Religious" and "super spiritual" people will downplay their downfalls and struggles. But maybe those of you reading this, maybe you are not struggling with anything. I don't know? But whether your relationship with God is strong or whether it is a continuous struggle, once we feel like we can't grow and work on ourselves, or once we feel so guilty and feel like God can't forgive us for our sins; that is the moment where it becomes most dangerous. There is always something to learn!


"It takes practice, ongoing review, patience, and concentration to keep in line with His will." --footnote in Bible.

Colossians 3:10

New Living Translation (NLT)

^"10 Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him."

Bitterness/ Forgiveness

Matthew 6:14-16

New Living Translation (NLT).

 

¹⁴ “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."

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Well then....I guess I could end this post right now.......

For real though! Forgiveness is tough, honestly holding on to bitterness is the "Easy" thing to do. But what a convicting verse, "If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Translation: That includes all of us! No one is exempt from God's forgiveness! Think of it this way, when we make a choice not to forgive others, we are basically neglecting the fact that we are ALL sinners in need of God's forgiveness(Grace). We forgive, because God through Christ forgave us first! (Ephesians 4:32).

The biggest lie Satan can trick us into believing is that forgiving others somehow makes us weak. Ironically not forgiving others leave us in more pain than we felt previously. It's like holding your hand onto a hot stove...if you want to relieve yourself from the pain, you have to LET GO.

A common misconception people have is that forgiveness gives the person that hurt us, "power" over us. No, actually forgiveness frees us from the bondage of bitterness. Bondage is something that binds us, we are held down, we can't move! The bondage of bitterness holds us and prevents us from moving forward, but forgiveness frees us, and allows us to move ahead!


Unfortunately however, circumstances and situations don't make forgiveness easy. I am referring to circumstances such as continually being lied to, being sexually abused, verbally abused, etc. Honestly, people have experienced so much pain and hurt in ways I can't comprehend. Many times I can't even fathom the thought of forgiveness. However, everyone has experienced pain, and unfortunately people make bad decisions everyday based on their pain and bitterness they have not properly dealt with.

Consider this quote from former American World Peace Activist, Norman Cousins. He says that, "Life is an adventure in forgiveness." How true is that! Pretty much for the rest of our lives we are going to have to make that choice to forgive others.

Just like we have hurt people, and just as others have hurt us. One thing remains true. God is yearning for a relationship with EVERYONE! You never know how much power forgiving someone can truly have, not only in your life, but as well in the lives of those who hurt us. 
 

Ephesians 4:32

New Living Translation (NLT)

^"32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

To understand the power of forgiveness further, please watch the videos below!

Get Off Facebook!

The title got cha didn't it lol?? This is not a post bashing Facebook or anything of that nature, this is simply a Part 2 to a recent post I wrote about taking a look at ourselves and our true motives--- > ( http://cedricdhoard.blogspot.com/2011/08/look-at-me-look-at-meno-really-take.html ).

Recently I wrote about how God convicted me about a dangerous aspect in my life. I was beginning to feel like I needed recognition for the "things" I was doing. In truth, however; doing outward things (performance) just so people can recognize us destroys our intimacy with God. Our deeds are not really about Him, but for other people to SEE them. So, with this all in mind, how could it possibly relate to Facebook??

Facebook is a great way to socialize, network, and connect with people. There is no doubt about that, but is it truly possible that Facebook can somehow prevent us from seeing the true reality about ourselves??

You seem to hear about it everyday, someone on cyber space creating a whole new persona about themselves. People getting so excited about the number friends or followers they have, people liking your statuses, commenting on photos, etc...

But lets get a little more personal. Those everyday people liking all our statuses, giving us praises; they only see the outward "things" we do, but what if they could really see us? Our struggles, our heart issues, our thoughts! Don't take it out of context. I am not saying that everything people put on facebook should be meticulously scrutinized, but maybe its time for us to step back and take a look at a few things:

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*Is who I present myself on Facebook really the real me?

*Has facebook taken time from other important things I need to work on?

*From all the hundreds and thousands of friends we have on Facebook, how many of them are viable friendships? Or could there possibly be a real friendship we need to rebuild?

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These are just a few questions to think about. Again I am not saying Facebook is "BAD," in fact this very moment as I am writing this, I am also logged on to Facebook lol. However, ALWAYS be willing to examine yourself, accept conviction, and allow God to reveal things to you.

Galatians 6:3-4

New King James Version (NKJV)

^"3 For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. ⁴ But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another."

Look at Me, Look at Me!!...(No really take a look at yourself!)

So for a while I have been feeling some type of need that I need to prove something...like I needed to be recognized!

One word: Dangerous!! When you really think about it, God's standard is sooo HIGH that are righteous deeds compared to Him are considered to be "filthy rags." (Isaiah 64:6). Christ died so that we wouldn't have to prove ourselves by the deeds we do, so why do we continue to fall in this trap of yearning to be recognized?!

Consider the Pharisees, the religious leaders mentioned in the Bible. These religious leaders were more concerned about outward deeds more than the very important truth that Christ was the SAVIOR, in turn their yearning for self-recognition translated into their quest to crucify Christ....

God revealed this to me as I was talking to a friend about why I had this strange feeling of somehow trying to "prove" something. She said that it becomes dangerous when we, "fail to realize that it isn't about whether or not you [say] the most about Him but rather if you actually live your life according to His desires."

Wow, how quickly my focus/motives became so consumed with ME!...But who are we???

Ephesians 2:8-9

New King James Version (NKJV)

"8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that NOT OF YOURSELVES; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast."

Beware of the habit of doing things based on performance for God FOR people. Doing things just so people can recognize us destroys our intimacy with God, because its no longer about Him, but people. That is why we are feeling like we have to always prove something, when in reality God is saying...my Grace is ALL you NEED!

Pride

* The feeling that I always need to be recognized for the things I do, or the things I accomplish. The satisfaction of accomplishing something that I love is not enough for me.

* I am hurt, and I can't accept the fact that the very person who hurt me is now getting praise from others. They don't know this person like I know them.

* I have been the top of my class since middle school, graduated with a full-ride scholarship. My peers and family are no where on my level. All they would do is bring me down.

..............................................................................

Bitterness, jealousy, selfishness, revenge, unforgiveness, ungratefulness etc.! What do all of these have in common? They each have an element of PRIDE. Maybe the above scenarios sound familiar in our own lives. Perhaps, we have never flat out said those things, but they could very well be in our thoughts. Pride has very much to do with our thoughts and how we perceive ourselves.

The first scenario regarding recognition is definitely familiar to me. Recently I have seen an ugly area in my life where I am feeling the need to be recognized for things I do. From a human perspective we all may have different definitions of what pride is, but because I believe Christ DIED so He could SAVE ME (that is enough reason to correct our pride), and because I believe the Bible to be true; here is a clear definition of what pride is: Pride is being motivated by our own desires while refusing to acknowledge our dependence upon Him. Pride is also a deceiver, making us believe we DESERVE higher than we should....(E.g: Satan deceiving Adam and Eve)  .

Consider Isaiah 14:13, where it talks about how Satan wanted to be like "The Most High." Now I don't think that all people who may struggle with pride intentionally think they are above God, however pride can make us lose focus of some very important truths! Here are 2 ways of battling pride.

(The following "Truths" were found from "Relationships: A Mess Worth Making" by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp).

Truth 1 (Identity): Identity is who we are. We are all sinners in desperate NEED of a Savior. No matter how you look at it, this makes everyone in common! On this earth we are all sinners interacting with other sinners.

Truth 2 (Worship): Worship is essentially acknowledging who God is. God is love, God is Sovereign. God created US. God sent His Son as a Savior. 

So we must remember who we are, and remember who God is; under the basis of what Christ did. When we remember this, we can overcome pride. 

Ephesians 2:8-10 sums it up beautifully:

^"8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, ⁹ not of works, lest anyone should boast. ¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."

Verses dealing with Pride: 

http://encouragingbiblequotes.com/versespridea.html

Relationships start with YOU!

It has been a little while since I have last updated the blog with a new post, but as the goal with every post, my hope is that this will be a blessing to anyone who reads it. More importantly I pray it is pleasing in God's sight. I am merely just writing what God has revealed to me.

Here we go, everyone's favorite subject right? Relationships lol. This is not a post where I describe what qualities I would like in a young lady or venting about how good women are lacking. No, I would like to challenge myself and others to focus on one very important aspect regarding relationships: Ourselves!!

You see it countless times, individuals brag about how they can OBTAIN a relationship, but ironically they can't seem to MAINTAIN a relationship.

That is the problem sometimes. Individuals break up and blame the other person for the mistakes made and never take the necessary time look at themselves. Unfortunately they go through this cycle of one relationship after another, always assuming it is the other person's fault. However, it is time to go back to basic Grade School math...
What (or WHO)is the common denominator?...

Consider these wise words I have learned from my mother, "If you learn how to become unselfish and admit your mistakes, any relationship you are in has potential to grow." In other words, if you are willing to work on yourself, watch your expectations of others decrease. Your expectations of others become more realistic!

Matthew 7:3-5 says it all!

"3 And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye." (NLT).

S * X

You think we are driven in a Sex-Driven Society? I would say so! Recently God has been revealing to me the power sexual immorality truly has over society. If you may have thought God never had a clear answer for sexual related stuff (Like I did), needless to say you are mistaken. Hmmm, God has much to say about sexual immorality. Here is a few examples of what God says about sexual immorality...

Throughout the Old Testament, sexual immorality is used to refer to the Spiritual unfaithfulness Israel showed to God. (Eg: Hosea and Ezekiel). In Leviticus Chapter 18, God gives Israel forbidden sexual practices. Why? Many of the surrounding pagan nations thrived on sexual relations...even sexual abuse amongst family members. God warned Israel about these practices, and made clear the consequences if they were to practice them. Hmm, consequences like what you may ask?...

When David fell into sexual immorality with Bathsheba (2 Samuel Chap. 11 and 12), God forgave him, but there was a consequence. What was the consequence? His child born from Bathsheba died AND generational curses of sexual abuse occurred within David's family. (See 2 Samuel Chap. 13).

1 Cor. 5, Paul talks about sexual immorality in the church that no one WITHIN the church has addressed AND almost every book in the New Testament addresses sexual immorality...

Look around today, Tv thrives off sex, Music nowadays isn't considered "music" if sex is not involved, many "great" men falling into traps related to sex...YOO SEX is SACRED.

Comprehend this: God compares marriage between a man and a wife to that of Christ Jesus and the Church. Essentially marriage is supposed to model Christ's relationship with the Church (see Ephesians 5). Who is the Church? Follower's of Christ-- aka people. The Bible also clearly mentions that SEX is for marriage...

Now comprehend this: Earlier I mentioned that God uses sexual immorality as examples to describe the spiritual UNFAITHFULNESS of Israel-- aka people.

I am so passionate in writing about this because I don't want to see this become a barrier for so many people, including myself . Please look at the scriptures I made reference to and view it for yourself. God's word is much more powerful than mine!

Awhile back in another post I discussed about my struggle against pornography, (http://cedricdhoard.blogspot.com/2011/03/lust-p-word.html) and how it created other issues within me. When God tells us to stay away from sexual immorality (sex, pornography, perverse talk, etc). It is not meant to punish us, but keep us away from the power it holds. God shows that sex is extremely SACRED.

 If you feel like there is no hope at all dealing with Lust, that is a straight up lie. God never condemns us, only convicts! There may be consequences, but He is also a restorer! Feeling hopeless? Please follow the link below. It greatly encourage me, and I hope it encourages anyone who read this post.

Also take a look at this: http://www.singleness.org/lust.shtml

Lil' Bro

Back in March I was able to something which could be labeled as the "first." It was the first time I said poetry/ spoken word in front of an audience during an event at my college.

I have always been encouraged by the gift some people possess to take an experience or idea and translate it into a deeper message. Many writers have this gift, but it is very powerful to have the ability to take written words and speak them with personality and passion. Hence the title "spoken word."

I do not consider myself a poet, or a "lyricist." I just simply wanted to display what God has done in my life over the past years in a way that would bring Him glory as well as possibly reach others. Instead of spoken word, I just simply say I spoke the WORD....

The main message I wanted to focus on was "Identity." I used many examples of what I once thought was apart of who I was during my high-school years; however, by the grace of God I was able to find my true identity which is in Christ Jesus.

The concept of me speaking with a younger brother came when I saw many younger guys making the same mistakes I made, and developing unsatisfying ways of finding their self-worth and identity. Many times society has a tendency to focus on certain characteristics of females which get labeled as insecurity, but males face insecurity as well.

This is a portion of my testimony. To know Christ, is to know Peace. He is truly the reason why we can go from Insecurity to being In Security!

May God get the Glory!

2 Corinthians 5:16-17 (New Living Translation)

 ¹⁶ So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! ¹⁷ This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

"Is your relationship with Jesus one of sacrifice or convenience?"

Let the title marinate for a minute.....

...

Did it sink in yet? Hopefully it did. This question was presented to me as I was reading today (a book I will reveal at a later time), and it really began to convict me. The contrast between convenience and sacrifice can also be equivalent to that of comfort vs. faith. Today as I read 1 Sam. 13, the conflict between convenience and sacrifice (comfort and faith) became much more vivid and clear.

1 Samuel 13 (verses 1-6) begins by telling the story of King Saul (Israel) and his continued battle with the Philistines. However the real message of the story begins to formulate as the men of Israel are "hard pressed by the enemy." Consider 1 Samuel 13: 7b-14 (NLT) for more context:

 Meanwhile, Saul stayed at Gilgal, and his men were trembling with fear. ⁸ Saul waited there seven days for Samuel, as Samuel had instructed him earlier, but Samuel still didn’t come. Saul realized that his troops were rapidly slipping away. ⁹ So he demanded, “Bring me the burnt offering and the peace offerings!” And Saul sacrificed the burnt offering himself.

 ¹⁰ Just as Saul was finishing with the burnt offering, Samuel arrived. Saul went out to meet and welcome him, ¹¹ but Samuel said, “What is this you have done?”

   Saul replied, “I saw my men scattering from me, and you didn’t arrive when you said you would, and the Philistines are at Micmash ready for battle. ¹² So I said, ‘The Philistines are ready to march against us at Gilgal, and I haven’t even asked for the Lord’s help!’ So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering myself before you came.”
 ¹³ “How foolish!” Samuel exclaimed. “You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you. Had you kept it, the Lord would have established your kingdom over Israel forever. ¹⁴ But now your kingdom must end, for the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart. The Lord has already appointed him to be the leader of his people, because you have not kept the Lord’s command.”

Wow, when we begin to lose sight of the One who is on our side and focus our sight on our own limited resources, we panic at the sight of our opposition. Truth of the matter is, many times when WE feel time is running out and when we are at the end of our rope, we become impatient with God's timing on a situation.

Like Saul, I often times find myself making a decision or an excuse based on convenience...Ironically Saul made and sacrifice offering; however, the cause for the sacrifice offering was rooted from his convenience!

Wow...!!!

The pressure? Our true spiritual character is revealed when we are under pressure! We could very well miss the opportunity God intended for us, because His plan is sometimes not "convenient" or "comforting" for us at a particular moment. I find it amazing that just as Saul had put matters into his own hands, the promise from God occurred. I cannot help to think, what if Saul had waited just a little longer...

Proverbs 3:5-6:

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
      do not depend on your own understanding.
 ⁶ Seek his will in all you do,
      and he will show you which path to take

Picture from: http://godwhispers7.blogspot.com/2011/03/timing.html

Responsibility (Anger)

"A man with integrity always assumes responsibility for his actions---he never blames others. True 'manhood' is a journey and not a destination. Its a lifelong process of growth and adjustment."

The quote above is an excerpt from a book I read a while ago, written by Rick Johnson entitled, "The Power of a Man." I love this quote. It is a great reminder that we will never "have it all together." As long as we live we will always learn, grow, and adjust from our mistakes.

This past week has been a very eye-opening week for me. As God does so well, He always reveals Himself and convicts, we just have to be willing to recognize and assume responsibility for our actions. This past week I was overcome by pride and anger, in regards to a particular situation.

Let me talk about anger for a moment. Angry people usually justify their anger, by saying someone or something is the cause for their anger. When we give in to anger we often focus on our own benefit, comfort, and feelings. Anger can be very selfish and prideful. If we are not careful, anger can be selfish to the point where we sometimes can not focus on a situation for it's entirety because we are so focused on ourselves. Selfish anger never helps a situation!

Consider James 1:20 (NLT) which says, "Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires." God does not want us to carelessly and thoughtlessly react emotionally in anger.

Proverbs 14:29 (NLT) says, "People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness."

There is a such thing as righteous anger. However, this anger does focus itself on one's own feelings, but it focus's on the well being of others or a particular circumstance. The word righteous stands for something which is right, good, and holy. Man's actions, due to the issue of sin, are not always righteous. Only when a man's actions aligns to the Lord's will, are such actions right, good and holy.

Recognizing a wrong action is one thing, but finding the root and underlying cause for that action is another thing. Plain and simple, the underlying cause for my anger was that God was not in the equation. When I was angry not once did I stop and pray. I was too busy flirting with the second half of Proverbs 3:5, I was "leaning on my own understanding."

The anger I was experiencing was a scary and humble reminder of my past. I was reminded of past and former actions I thought I would never see again. God's grace is enough so I have overcome my past, but when I conveyed that His grace was only minor, my past became major! We can not get prideful and think that we have overcome things, when in reality His grace was the underlying cause.

"When we focus our thoughts and energy, not upon God's will for our lives, but instead upon our own unending assortments of fleshly desires, we inevitably forfeit the spiritual abundance that might otherwise be ours."--AR. Bernard

Recognize, Repent, and Return. Take Responsibility!

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." (Ephesians 4:26-27).

Picture from: http://www.goal-setting-guide.com/wallpapersimages/RESPONSIBILITY-wall-1920-1200.jpg

Loneliness

Has anybody made a bad decision based on a lonely feeling? Forget about the bad decision for a moment, has anybody just ever felt lonely!

Loneliness is more than just being alone by yourself, it is truly a state of mind. It is very possible to be amongst a huge crowd of people and still feel lonely.

Loneliness can develop out of several different circumstances. For example, loneliness may develop through defeat, getting rejected, feeling like you can't live up to an expectation, or simply because you have made a stand to not conform to this world and you feel alone in your stance.

Loneliness can trap us, if we are not careful. For example, someone may want companionship so much that they will give it and accept it from just about anyone. Many times from the wrong person. This is so prevalent; some people yearn so much for a connection that when someone appears to give it to them, they give them their emotions, time, and energy. What is the outcome if they come across the wrong person? They feel more lonely/confused than previously before.

You know how we increase our chances of making a bad decision when we are not in the "right state of mind?" Because loneliness is a state of mind, we must be careful of making a decision we may regret.

You feel lonely so you go back to talking to that "friend" you know that isn't right for you, but because you want attention you go back anyway. Or you feel lonely so you go back to that addiction that you broke away from, but now because of how you feel, you crawl back to it.

Consider Jeremiah 15:17-18 (NLT),
^"17 I never joined the people in their merry feasts.
      I sat alone because your hand was on me.
      I was filled with indignation at their sins.
 ¹⁸ Why then does my suffering continue?
      Why is my wound so incurable?
   Your help seems as uncertain as a seasonal brook,
      like a spring that has gone dry.”

I enjoy this verse so much, because it is so real! There are many times where we have doubted God and we say that His help is "uncertain."

Jeremiah accused God of not helping him when he was at a lonely time in his life. Jeremiah began to take his eyes off God's plan and purpose and began to focus on his feelings. I would encourage you to take a look at how God responds to Jeremiah in verses 19-21. Instead of responding with anger, God simply answered by rearranging Jeremiah's priorities! WOW!

PRIORITIES! Hold tight to your standards and convictions, don't compromise based on a lonely feeling.

But, consider these words from the One who was alone, but never was lonely (Jesus Christ). John 16:32-33 says:

^"32 But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. ³³ I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Picture from:
http://mypraiseatl.com/files/2011/01/loneliness1.jpg

Lust (The P-Word)

So here is a "touchy" subject. Probably one of the most ignored subjects. My prayer is that this post will give God all the glory in any way possible. Honestly, I had to be "real" on this one, because I am tired of seeing this subject have a choke hold on so many individuals.

Sometimes I think "we" tend to use the word lust in broad terms. Most young men will say that they struggle with lust, because they may feel it sounds safe. Why? Because we guys know that most other guys struggle with lust also. However, let's get more specific...

 Pornography...

I am not going to give statistics of how much money the porn industry makes, truth is many of us know how prevalent sex has become in our society. However, it is almost frightening and disturbing how easy and accessible it has become to watch other people have sex. In its essence that is basically what porn is. I myself was first introduced to a form of pornography back in middle school. A boy brought a picture from some website into the locker room and starting showing others. That moment forward, a vicious cycle and struggle occurred within me as I was in this battle against pornography.

Of course, I tried to justify it, "Well it's not like I am having sex, or am involved with a 'plethora' amount of young ladies like other people I know, so what I am doing is 'not that bad'" WRONG. From my experience, I want to be real and explain how pornography has perpetuated other bad characteristics that have had a negative effect in my life, but the redemptive grace and power from God is able to change a Test into Testimony! 

1) Sneakiness:
Now looking back, to the point where you have to sneak to go on the computer so your parents would not catch you, is when the addiction starts. You know what your doing is wrong and involves risk, but because you got away with it once, you think you can get away with it again and again. When you know something involves a great risk, but still continue to engage in the activity because you have a craving for it; is when addiction starts. You are basically disregarding risk and consequences just for pleasure. This is a dangerous state to be in when regarding to any addiction.

2) Lying:
So not only was sneakiness prevalent, I began to start justifying what I was doing by lying. Lying and not developing an accurate view of a circumstance we may be struggling with, is a huge indicator of Pride. Humility is having an accurate view of yourself; it means truly "knowing yourself." Authenticity is an important aspect to develop in combating against a struggle.

Porn is unrealistic and provides a cloudy view on reality. For example:
-Porn provides sex, without any emotion involved. However, the opposite is the reality.  
-Porn provides an unrealistic and perverted view on women. Women are degraded and seen as objects rather than people.
-Porn is an empty substitute for real love or satisfaction.

Consider 1 John 2:16:
^"16 For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world."

1 John 2:16 gives 3 main categories of sin: They are 1) The lust of the flesh. 2) The lust of the eyes. 3) Pride. Pornography definitely causes us to lust after flesh and certainly causes us to lust with our eyes.

And what about thoughts?

Philippians 4:8 says, "And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thouhgts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." I am pretty sure that pornography does not fit into any of these categories.

1 Corinthians 6:12 says,
 ¹² You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything."

A slave to "anything." Even though we may feel the freedom to do anything, ask yourself does it truly edify! Galatians 5:13 tells us that even though we are called to freedom, do NOT use your freedom as an opportunity to fulfill your sinful desires.

So how can you overcome a struggle?

First, recognize that it is a problem, and that you need help! Pride is so dangerous, because it wants us to think we can overcome an addiction or struggle by ourselves. Last year I told my parents about my struggle. Instead of facing guilt and resistance they have been very beneficial in being good accountability people.

Second, seek GOD. Trust that He has the power to help you overcome a struggle. Confess your sin to Him and ask Him to renew and transform your mind (Romans 12:1-2).

Third, ask God to equip you with holiness.1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 says,

 ³ God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. ⁴ Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—

Let the Spirit control your lives.

Galatians 5:16-17:
¹⁶ So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. ¹⁷ The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions.

Recommended links: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaSF_Rk2MGs

Picture from:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/static/uploads/courses/header_images/way-of-purity.gif

Naivety (Impulses)

"Beware of settling for what looks good at the expense of what's best."

This was the quote I read today as a result of doing a daily devotional by Erin Keeley Marshall.

Deep, right? I would say so. It is sometimes amazing/disturbing how we can make hasty decisions just based on what WE feel is best for us. We lack the patience and the discipline to wait for God's direction. We don't want to wait for what God has for us, because waiting is just not "fun" and in many aspects it is very uncomfortable. I know I have made decisions based on loneliness, accomdation, and impulses. To summarize it, we make decisions based on impulses when we take God out of the equation. Let's refer to Judges 14.

Samson, known as the strongest man in history. Although he had great strength, and although God used him, Samson thrived and lived on his impulses. Great strength in one area of life, does not make up for great weaknesses in other areas in our life.

So Judges 14:1-3, a Philistine women immediately caught Samson's eye. He told his father and mother that he wanted to marry her:

 ¹ One day when Samson was in Timnah, one of the Philistine women caught his eye. ² When he returned home, he told his father and mother, “A young Philistine woman in Timnah caught my eye. I want to marry her. Get her for me.”

 ³ His father and mother objected. “Isn’t there even one woman in our tribe or among all the Israelites you could marry?” they asked. “Why must you go to the pagan Philistines to find a wife?”

   But Samson told his father, “Get her for me! She looks good to me.”

This was not the first woman Samson was attracted to which ultimately led him to destruction (Delilah: Judges 16). I would advise you all to continue reading Judges 14, to see the end result of this "marriage." However, to briefly sum it up:

Naivety + Sudden Impulses + Lust X Our Understanding - God = Bad Decisions/Results.

However, Samson's story does not end up in tradegy. His story teaches us that even though we have failed in the past, it is not to late for us to put our complete trust in God. Despite Samson's decisions, God was still able to use them to fulfill His purpose. To counteract against Naivity: Discernment (Wisdom). James 1:5-6 says,

"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. ⁶ But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind."

Ask God to help us in areas that we may lack wisdom in, but be confident and sure that when we ask, our faith is completely in Him! Discernment in God will help us to consider whether something merely "appears good" or is God's ultimate paramount.

"Know that when you seek anything of your own, you will never find God, because you do not seek God purely. You are seeking something along with God, and you are acting just as if you were to make a candle out of God in order to look for something with it. Once one finds the things one is looking for, one throws the candle away. --Meister Eckhart.



Will You Be My Valentine

Here we go! Valentines Day is once again here and approaching! So, you know I had to write about it.

I heard a joke once that Valentines Day is a Christian guys' worst nightmare. Really? Hmmm so therefore, I decided to write about what "I look for in a young lady"...Or am I?

Honestly, now that God has been revealing certain aspects to me I have a slight issue with the questions: "What do I look for" or "Is she the one for me." I will explain why.

These questions can almost put the decision making process on our own terms, instead of God's. Consider the following quote from author Michael Lawrence in his article entitled, Stop Test Driving Your Girlfriend. He says that, "it puts the woman on an extended trial to determine whether or nmeets your needs, fits with your personality, and satisfies your desires. It places you at the center of the process, in the role of a window-shopper, or consumer at a buffet."

I know I have fell victim to this very thing, but perhaps here is a better question we guys need to ask ourselves. "Am I the type of godly man a young lady would want to be with?" In other words, maybe we should spend less time evaluating the character of women around us, and more time evaluating and critiquing our own character, not just for a young women but ultimately so our character will be pleasing in God's sight.

Here is the point to all of this. Certainly we are supposed to have standards and some young ladies just won't meet our standards, but do not have an unrealistic expectation. Do not fall into the "Proverbs 31 syndrome", where she has to meet ALL those requirements and characteristics written in that chapter. Importantly, DO NOT put an expectation that is even higher than God's. Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God." God's standard of glory is set so high that it would be impossible to reach it, that is why He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ (John 3:16).

"The problem of course is that as a single Christian man, not only are you going to marry [date] a sinner, but you are a sinner as well."--Michael Lawrence.


Let God be the number one standard and pray for wisdom (James 1:5).

My brother Sharell and his Fiance Althea

Picture from:
http://abww.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/blacklove.jpg

Faith Can Be Comforting.

Do not view moving out of comfort zones as only being discomforting to your comfort. Instead view it as a way of growing and changing you so that you may move into a new comfort...

http://www.cinemablend.com/images/news_img/13304/images_13304.jpg

Moving out of areas that we are most accustomed to, can be a very new and intimidating, especially when you are not certain of the outcome. Lately, I have found myself struggling with the confidence to move into this new "zone" in my life. Even though we are told to have FAITH; fear and doubt seem to still outweigh our faith...

But, what is FAITH? Why is faith sometimes hard to comprehend? Hebrews Chapter 11 can perhaps provide the answer.

Hebrews 11:1 in the New Living Translation (NLT) says, "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things WE CANNOT SEE." Yes faith, the evidence of things not seen. This is why sometimes faith can be hard, because we cannot "see" the results, we can't see what is going to happen next, and we want the answers NOW. And after we are trying to grasp and comprehend all of this, we then get hit with Hebrews 11:6. Hebrews 11:6 (NLT)says, "And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek Him."

So, we may be already struggling with faith...and now without faith we can't please God...sounds comforting right? Well here is the beauty of it...

The beginning point of faith is believing in God's character: He truly is who He says! When we believe that God will fulfill his promises even though we don't see those promises materializing yet, we are demonstrating truth faith. In other words who are we saying has more power? The present circumstance or God's future promises? Or perhaps this is a better question. Do we believe because faith makes sense, or do we believe because faith doesn't need make sense?

Consider Isaiah 40: 28-31:
28 Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
29 He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
30 Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
31 BUT those who TRUST in the LORD will find NEW strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Are You In?

First of all I would like to give all the thanks to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I apologize for my sins and short-comings, but I am so ever thankful for HIS grace and mercy.

This note is for anyone, but it is really intended for my brotha's out there. Of course females are not obligated from reading this or being apart of this (I thank God for you all lol), but when I was writing this I really had the bro's in mind.

I was so strongly encouraged by this, that I HAD to write about this! I was reading Ephesians chapter 4, great chapter talking about unity within the body of Christ. Within in this unity I began to realize a much bigger spectrum about God's purpose/agenda. I would greatly encourage you all to take a look at Ephesians 4, but mainly look at 4:7-16. The message I got out of those passages will only make sense if you read them. I realized after reading these passages that God chooses to surround us with people who are different from us because He knows it will promote His purpose.

Verse 10 says, "He who descended (to earth) is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe." After reading the full context of these passages (4:7-16) I began to see how it can apply in my own life and interactions. For example, college, workplace, everyday interactions, etc. Therefore, in accordance with the theme of unity and being surrounded by people who are diverse from us, I began to think: What great things could God do to those who are fully committed to Him? 2 Chronicles 16:9 (NLT),"The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him..." With Ephesians and 2 Chronicles in mind, lets obtain and maintain a "New Year's" Resolution. Let's be unified, keeping eachother accountable, prayng for each other...let us truly impact those around us! This is no call for perfection, we all fall short but remember we do not have to be perfect in order to commit. SO May we Guard His Glory, and show His Glory SO that the body of Christ may be Built UP!....Are "yaw' ll" in??