Why You Shouldn't Date Everyone You Meet

There is approximately  7 million people in the world today. Many of which who will possess many qualities we share and find attractive. It is nearly inevitable that we will meet many people who interest us. However, we can't date or marry everyone who we find attractive, unless we are Solomon (he had 700 wives lol). My point is that even though we may come across many people we like or find attractive, it doesn't necessarily mean they are the right person to pursue a relationship with.

Many followers of Christ who are considering dating have heard the scripture "do not be unequally yolked" (2 Corinthians 6:14). It is a fairly popular verse and is referenced many times in regards to dating. Although it is referenced and preached a lot, sometimes many Christians overlook it. Why? Because of this dangerous thing called, feelings. Feelings can allow us to make many temporary decisions that can result in many long term consequences. That is why it is vitally imperative that we pray for wisdom and discernment and actively take heed from the Holy Spirit. He will guide us to help us distinguish our feelings from His promptings.

Through my past experiences, I have seen firsthand how my feelings have allowed me to make premature decisions in regards to pursuing a relationship with someone. A very vivid example stems from a young lady pretending to want to know more about God, only as a means to get close to me. It only resulted in disappointment as I realized that we were definitely going in different directions. From my past experiences it is my prayer and hope that I encourage someone with this post.

Believe it or not, godly characteristics in a person are attractive to individuals who aren't even looking for God. As the saying goes, "Some people want a godly man/woman, but don't want God."

The problem is that those who have this mindset never draw near to God, but only end up drawing near to you. You unfortunately become their substitute for God. As a result this adds pressure on you because as soon as you make a mistake, they associate your mistakes as a characteristic and quality of God. So you then feel as if your every move and action has to "perfect" in order for them to "see" God. This is unfair to you and to the other person involved; it is unhealthy. We can't base our knowledge of God, based of the errors of other people. In essence people may always fail us, but God will never fail us. It hurts my heart that so many people are so opposed to the things of God, because a Christian made a mistake and hurt them (mistakes are inevitable). This may occur possibly, because the person never had a true, personal relationship with God. As a result, they are not able to identify God's perfect presence from human's needing grace for their errors. This brings me to my next point.

Some individuals may be placed in your life for you to witness to them, not necessarily date them. A young lady may need to see an example of a trustworthy man, a young man may need to know how true acceptance feels from a woman. This is possible to display without dating them. Ultimately if people are broken and "dead" in their spiritual life they need to see the true reason behind your caring qualities. Essentially it means they need to see Christ!

World Wide Web

Its been about 2 and a half weeks since I released "World Wide Web," a spoken word video highlighting my struggle, but ultimately my freedom from pornography addiction. This video was made possible by The Good Fight Studios located in Waterford, Wisconsin.

Two years ago I wrote a blog post in regards to the deadly addiction (http://cedricdhoard.blogspot.com/2011/03/lust-p-word.html), but this poem was truly two years in the making.

"World Wide Web" purposely conveys two meanings. Not only is the title reflective of what the internet is most popularly referred to, but it is also a play on words conveying how the enemy uses a "web" to trap his "prey" worldwide. 

Below is a few lines of the poem:

"Consider when a spider weaves its web; it is made out of silk one of the most valuable fabrics in the world representing status and power, but the true purpose of this web is to entrap prey so that they can be devoured. So in other words, what appears to captivate, can actually hold you captive. It’s funny how something seemingly attractive, can actually make you inactive." 

This poem was ultimately inspired by a book I read this past summer, entitled, "Surfing For God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle" by Michael John Cusick. The book influenced the writing process for the poem to focus on three areas that porn can affect: 1) Emotional 2) Physical and 3) Spiritual. I think the book did a great job of discussing all three areas. Through the book I was also able to understand and realize that we can't "train our flesh" to overcome addiction.
Will power or "training" our flesh to overcome sin is not the way to do it. For how can we train something to do right when it is naturally at war with the Holy Spirit? There are numerous occasions in the Bible that address how our flesh goes against the purpose of the Spirit (Romans 8:5-8; Galatians 5:16-17). True heart conviction and recognition of Christ's forgiving grace is necessary. We can't hopelessly fight battles with will power that could eventually be won by surrendering to God and following the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Recently  I was contacted by the author in regards to my poem. In short, he shared my poem at a Conference in Colorado Springs, Colorado as a way to impact and inspire other men. God has also used the poem in other mighty ways. I am so thankful to be a small part of His bigger plan.

I am extremely passionate about this subject and my prayer is that this video will further shed light on an issue  I know is still alive and active. People wonder if I am ever embarrassed by being transparent about this issue, but I feel as if God is using my transparency to reach those who may be struggling with this issue. I also do not feel embarrassed, because I am a product of God' grace and redemptive power. There is freedom from addiction through Christ! He offers a way of escape from this "World Wide Web." 

"Way of Purity" picture from:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/static/uploads/courses/header_images/way-of-purity.gif