Change

Change sometimes seems like such a broad term, it can imply many things or situations. However, I am talking about change in an individual. What makes a person change? Why does a person say they will change, but they still fail to do so? To me change is not an event, it is a process and without process there will be no progress. Change from the heart must require acknowledgment of the truth and confession for our sins under the Grace of God.

Many times I would say that I would change; change from my bad habits and mold good habits. Sadly, they were just merely words. Words I would just merely say, but my actions and what was in my heart said otherwise. They were words only to convince people that I had changed, because sometimes I felt like someone was going to leave me or cut me off, I started making changes not necessarily because I felt the need to, but for that other person. Ironically, not only was I deceiving others but I was also deceiving myself. While I was too busy compelling others, I was also "convincing" myself that I was changing, however; the truthful and actual reality was that I was not. That “accepted wisdom” only created pride and selfishness within me. I was using other individuals’ flaws and downfalls to downplay my struggles and issues. That was selfish because I refused to realize and face the real truth about myself. I could change temporarily, but when people still didn't believe I changed, I would become upset and those old habits came rushing back. This is because the change did not come from the heart.

The first step towards change is acknowledging the truth about ourselves. Acknowledgment of the truth, brings about growth. Coming face-to-face with our flaws and struggles is a very hard thing to do, but how can we ever grow spiritually or maturely if we do not recognize the very struggles that might be preventing us from having a closer relationship with God. Author John C. Maxwell has said that, "Growth is not automatic, it is intentional," which means that growth doesn't just happen, it is a continuous process that we must be open and willing to recognize. The second step is asking God to cleanse us from our sins and struggles. When we first acknowledge the truth and then ask God to cleanse us, we are now leading our heart into God's Grace. His grace disciplines, but it also allows us to discern what is right or wrong; to renew our heart.

I was inspired to write this after reading Psalms 51 and also Matthew 15. My pastor brought forth a message a while ago from these two scriptures and it has really stuck with me and has allowed me to look further into these scriptures. Psalms 51 is an amazing passage, because it is David's plea for mercy, forgiveness, and cleansing. The theme of his plea is that God wants our hearts to be right with him. Matthew 15, however, has really made an impact in me. Verse 8-9 says, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship is a farce, for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God (Convincing and Deceiving)." Verse 11 then states, "It's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth." Our actions and attitudes must be sincere and it mirrors what is really in our heart. We must lead our heart into God's mercy and grace.

I pray that this has been a blessing to anyone who will read this. Please continue to keep me in your prayers.